Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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