I cut my penus on the lid.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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