I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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