): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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