just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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