Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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