hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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