i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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