Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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