You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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