I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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