Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
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buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize