No stitches, just platelets and will power
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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