Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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