Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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