omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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