An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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