You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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