Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize