we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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