What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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