The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
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It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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