I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize