I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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