im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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