She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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