Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize