Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize