if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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