never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize