so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize