Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize