I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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