dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
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The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
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Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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