he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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