you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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