You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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