I love black thongs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize