Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize