He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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