i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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