And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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