ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize