She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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