Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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