He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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