Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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