I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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