I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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