I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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